pensées et sentiments

We are so close to revealing the "secret" blogs that we all have been faithfully writing when someone overheard tew bao for commenting that he has a blog. It's OK lah, our beloved tew bao. Just that got to keep this blog away from that very person that we all are fearful about. Luckily our tew bao is clever enough to have a dummy blog just for her to read. It's scary when she says excitedly that she would want to read his blog. This person is none other than our wonderful blabbermouth that secrets cannot be kept. Letting her know or read the blog means letting the whole world know our secrets. It's that scary!!!!! I am OK with people reading my blog but just not her. It's not that I dislike her to the core or anything, just that having the thought of her invading my privacy, is just horrendous. This is the little breathing space that I have without her watching or spying over me. So let me have this little space OK? I never want her anywhere near me,that's why in office, I keep my boundaries. If there's any way that I don't have to have contacts with her, I will not. She can scold me for being stupid or useless but this space is never a space that I will let her into... :) It sounds hateful, but why would I let someone as cunning as she into my life or rather virtual life?? It's ironic that sometimes I feel like an "open book" where she knows how to read my thoughts and this is the place where I can truely vent whatever frustrations that I have and keep my "book" close. This is where I can talk it out and vent out and not let her read into me. Yes I have to work under her but that doesn't mean that I need to do anything to please her. :) I don't hate her, just don't like her stepping into this world that I have. To me she's just a colleague and nothing much. If one day, she meant to come and read this? ***** BACK OFF ***** :) That's how crude I can be at times. I've changed but if it were me in the past, she's already living that miserable life. I'm not in my past anymore, a changed person, so if I can stop history from repeating itself when I can't endure it any longer, I will by all means do it. So let me do my work properly, stop invading into my world when I don't like you, and I will stop invading into yours. I'm already a survival of your "verbal abuse" and criticisim, so let me have peace working here. I am doing my best at work already, so stop picking on me. :) Endurance has a limit and when that limit breaks, all hell breaks loose... I don't know when that will be.... that's what I told myself. Maybe when I am drove to desperateness, then this "bad" me will jump out and protect little good old me.... Just probably I've forgotten how to take revenge or harbour any evil thoughts towards those who have done injustice to me. I've somehow forgotten that person in the past, where I would fight back to the fullest.