pensées et sentiments

I don' ; t savent si cette amitié restera la même chose ou pas après ce qui s'est produit, mais je veux établir cette amitié le meilleur qu'il sera. Pour rester de près d'un un autre n'importe ce que s'est produit. Nous serons des amis pour toujours. Vous serez toujours mes chéris pour toujours ! I don' ; le soin de t ce que d'autres peuvent indiquer ou faire pour nous détacher mais moi croire toujours en vous ! !

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Le jour je vous ai rencontré
J'ai trouvé un ami
et une amitié que je prie ne finira jamais

Votre à sourire bonbon ainsi
et si lumineux
maintenu m'allant quand le jour était foncé comme nuit

vous ne m'avez jamais jugé, vous m'avez compris
Alors vous me l'avez dit needn' ; t soit de cette façon
et m'a donné l'espoir d'un meilleur demain

Vous étiez toujours là pour moi,
j'avez su que je pourrais compter sur vous.
Vous m'avez donné le conseil et l'encouragement
toutes les fois qu'I didn' ; t savent quoi faire.

Vous m'avez aidé à apprendre à s'aimer
Vous avez fait la vie sembler si bonne.
Vous avez dit je peux faire quelque chose que j'ai mis mon esprit à
et soudainement j'ai su que je pourrais.

Il y avait des périodes où nous didn' ; t voient que l'oeil à observer
et là étaient des jours où tous les deux nous ont pleuré.
Mais néanmoins nous l'avons fait à travers :
Notre amitié hasn' ; t pourtant mort.

Les circonstances nous ont séparés,
Nous sommes séparés par beaucoup de milles.
Vraiment, la seule chose qui me maintient
est ma mémoire prisée de votre sourire.

Cette amitié que nous partageons Est si précieux à moi,
J'espère qu'elle se développe et s'épanouit et dure à l'infini.

Vous êtes si supplémentaire-spécial à moi
Et ainsi ceci à vous que je vraiment dois dire :
Vous êtes mon un ami vrai,
Mon ange de gardien.

Notre amitié est un-dans-un-million Ainsi let' ;
prise de s dessus entre eux elle et.
Nous ne pouvons pas laisser cette possibilité de mouche pure de bonheur loin
pour là ne serons jamais des autres.

Je t'aime.
Je vous aimerai toujours.

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sian sian sian... maybe need to OT today....

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Why and why isn't the backache going away... I wanna cry already...it's so painful... i can't sit properly, stand properly or even lie on the bed properly.... I am scared that I will be paralyzed..... :( I'm so tired that I want to just rest at home until it recovers then look for a job but dad hasn't gotten a job since...therefore I can't just leave a job like that... I need money.... Pain pain pain... and my job sucks too...

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My cell group member's husband has been expecting a call from me for the past 2 days but due to the pain, and the drowsiness of the medication, I didn't really call him. He is working in a hotel and might have positions available for me. I was notified that there is a walk in interview the past 2 evenings and that there are so many positions available. Should I go or should I not go? This is a dilemma. Maybe I should give it a try, take a taxi there and try going for an interview..... He has asked me to try out a secretarial position, but I am afraid as I do not have a secretarial experience... would they want to employ me???? And give me a chance at the job???? Don't know arh....

See first lah...don't know... I am not prepared....

Dilemma dilemma dilemma~~~~~ :(

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I am on MC again...for the last time I guess coz of the pain on the back. Was issued by chinese physician and had advise me not to do anything strenuous like carrying goods or anything else. The vein needs time to heal and the numbness will eventually subside. I have problems controlling the movement of one of my limbs. This is probably one of the worst experience so far. I'm resting at home, healing comes first now for me. But the problem is, I can't seem to fall asleep, especially when the pain is the worst in the morning. That's y i'm blogging. I will try to knock myself later to sleep. Take time to rest and recover. I really hope this pain will not come back as and when it likes. It seems like a time bomb....but seems like it came back lots of times when I came back to work in shimano. Haha...maybe I'm not suitable for this environment. Parents have been asking me to leave, but of course need to look for a job first. It's not the first time that people have been asking me to leave already. It's not that I don't want to leave but I need time to look for a suitable job and environment first before the letter can be thrown. I will actively search for a job soon...and send out as many resumes as possible. I hope to work in the customer service environment, hopefully in the front line service. I don't mind meeting lots of people from all walks of life. I think it will be interesting.

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Didn't know that travelling to the doctor can be so tiring. My chinese sinseh is at serangoon central and I need to take a bus there and there's quite a distance to walk too. So tiring when I reached the place, having to take extra effort to walk there despite the pain. Walking used to be effortless but this time, due to the pain and the injury, walking there is tiring. Sinseh says that it will take some time to heal the vein and he prescribed me some medication. I wished that I had taken a cab but inorder to save $$, I didn't.

Now, I'm just resting on my bed...trying very hard to sleep... but i really can't....

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pain is the word to describe my life right now.... constant pain....
when I msged that UG and psst this morning, they seem to be sympathetic about it. Don't know if it is from the heart. haha... Not that I am sarcastic but I just can't believe in the management party any longer. Yes, somehow my health is getting a lot worse right now with the backache having a come back. I really need a good long rest to recuperate without having to worry about work. I know that this is a problem as the work will be just piling up with Jo flying off and kan chiong spider doing all he can to clear work. UG asked me to take MC when I told him in sms at 6 am that I'm taking leave to rest at home. Psst told me to take care of myself coz I need to get married one day and have babies. Yeap, all these I know but I can't control what is going on in my health. The air around spl is bad and the environment isn't really helping much. When no one is around to carry goods, you still have to carry. So don't have to act like you care when you are just fake. Sorry for being rude but it's the fact in the office. Yes, you are "concern" but you will still say things behind my back, so what's the point of being concern on the surface but deep down within you are just plan unsympathetic about my situation. I don't need fake people around me.

Argghhh...I just can't seem to fall asleep.... pain is acting up pretty bad. I need a good recuperating period....a good rest.... a good start.... a long long sleep and vacation......just plain lazy to get out of bed. Tried sitting on the floor to blog and keeping my back straight inorder to ease the pain....

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Rotting and not doing anything.... so shiok... nua and nua at home

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I'm tired of work....
I'm tired of not getting enough rest....
I'm tired of my emotions....

I really hope to take a short break, quit a job and then re-think about what I need to do with my career path....

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For the past few days, I've been having terrible backache. It seems like it's so difficult to get out of bed as the pain is excruciating... I've felt a numb on my left leg and the left side of the hips area. I've never experienced such pain before, don't know when I sprained my back again. Feeling vexed as I can't concentrate on my work well. I am also afraid that one day when I wake up, I would be paralyzed on the left side of the body. Don't know when that will happen... haha..maybe one day I will just happen to call SPL and say that I resign on the spot coz I am sick and can't walk anymore.

Missed the bus today and had to take public transport to work. So many things to do and yet I can't seem to concentrate because of the pain...

Feel like just taking the half day off but it just fits no purpose... my cough isn't going away too... why is my health getting worse?

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I m having a bad dry cough, head's spinning like no one's business, can't really concentrate on my work. Really very giddy liao~

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Once a upon a time, there were 2 old freaks, both guarding their own treasury. Their daily routine happen to be playing "tai chi" and also "majong". Often filled with anguish one one of them loses a game for the day.

Let me give you an analysis of the character of these 2 freaks.

Freak one of the eastern mountain
The eastern mountain is one that is filled with beautiful scenery, one that is surrounded by clear waters where fishes swim happily in it. This freak looks calm on the outside like the surroundings of his inhabitance, not often letting his emotions show to people, lest anyone knows about his weaknesses. Though he looks calm on the outside, there are a lot of emotional turmoil that boils up on the inside, that sometimes he would go to the end of the cave and vent his anger there. He is a loner and often fishes by the lake and while waiting for the fishes to come to catch, he would plan strategies to counter attack his long time foe, the western moutain freak. Each day, he would smile at his plans secretly, each one according to his evilness. The mind of this freak is constantly filled with evil plans but he never seem to dare to work according to his plans because of his timidness. He earns a good living as a fisherman, occassionally catching huge amount of fishes, in which he supplies to the fish mongers in the city. Though he is timid, he bullies the young or those that he thinks that he is able to pick upon.

to be continued....

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What is happening to me lately? Sometimes I just feel that my world is crashing down on me, forgive me gals if I'm a little impatient, a little moody, and a lot tempermental lately. I think I'm sick on the inside, not sure why depression is drowning me lately. I need a break, a good good rest and it's time to move on to another level of life. I don't know what is happening to me, maybe I just don't want to face reality.... or is it that my emotions are eating me away. I need time to find that happy me back. I want to be happy... but it's so difficult sometimes....

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I am seriously in a bad mood. I already done my best at work and yet people still wanna complain that I didn't do any good job. I am really pressurized up and down, left and right, machiam I can do so many things at one time. One at a time loh, I am not a superwoman ler. I cannot do so many things at one go. I am only one person and I can only do so much. So let me do things at my own pace and I will do it well, don't come and pressurize me lah. Hai!! Is this job really for me a not? I really wonder ler. I don't know if I am doing a good job here. No one believes that I am already doing my best here. Maybe it's because their expectation too high already and I am never going to meet up to it. To the hell with everything here sia... go away and stop making me so depressed and angry at work everyday. I want clearer instructions and clearer things being passed down. Next time I will ask and ask until instructions are clearer then I won't do double job lah. Next time I better ask properly, record that speech down, lest anyone go back on their word and say that they didn't say anything. It's the same with boss, etc. etc. Say one thing, do another. Win liao loh!!! Who is the winner, you loh!!! :) No one can compare ar... Sian Sian sian...super sian...I just hope to walk away from everything and just leave it there!!!! Angry arh!!! ANGRY with everything and everyone... Mood sucks mood sucks... really everything sucks!!!! I don't feel motivated or encouraged at all when I feel that I've done a good job... just not appreciative.... @$&@#*$&@#

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Shut up is the word that I like to use these days. These people in the office don't know how to keep comments to themselves. Don't know why they like to blabber out...are they thinking with their butts or that their brains are in the ends of the anus? Really angry ler! That tai tai ar.. yes i didn't bill in time so that vp can claim her money. But think about the past 2 weeks, I've been bz with jo's shipment while jo is away on biz trip and end of the month I've been bz with closing and also with other shipments. Really cannot cope with the workload already and yet people just don't understand that I've really tight in schedule and I am trying my very best to complete everything that is on hand. It's not that I'm sitting on it, just that too many urgent things that needs to be done at the same time. I only have a pair of hands and a brain, and I am already doing so many things at the same time. So just shut up and keep the comments to yourself for goodness sakes. Dun say things like "wah, give you end of the month, it's 2 weeks liao leh." Just shut your blardee gap lah. No one ask you to say anything, so just shut up!!!
SHUT YOUR BLARDEE GAP!!!! To think of it, should i leave this job?? This job sucks, pay sucks, everything sucks, I have no motivation to work already. Whenever i have motivation to work, these ppl just say some stupid blardee comments and pissed me off to the moon. I'm really in pissed off mood now that I need to blog and release all these shit. My mood sucks nowadays coz too many things to do and people just are not appreciative. Always think that I'm so free and playing around when infact I am not loh!!!! 2$&@#*$&@#*$&@#*$&@#*&$@#*&$@#*&$@*#&$*@#&$*@&#$*&@#*$&@#*$&#@$&@#$

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I'm home after 5 days of travelling. Done lots of shopping, eating and sightseeing, nevertheless, good things must come to an end. Though I enjoyed the wonderful times with my galfriends over at bangkok but time passes with a blink of an eye. And lo and behold, I'm back in SPL working again. I'm happy to be back after a relaxing shopping therapy trip but how I wish everything would be longer. I will plan to go with mama again this coming december for shopping, eating and relaxing again. Promised mama that I would bring her around to those wonderful places that we all went.

Next: Bangkok Trip....
Next 2: My Thai Oil Massage Experience
Next 3: The Puss In Boots Chapter 2

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Once there was a cat who had no boots and when she saw that an old queen had a pair of boots, she was so delighted. She was so delighted that daily she would pester the old queen to give her the pair of boots. The old queen was reluctant at first as these boots were given to her by someone so precious. But when the cat begin to lick the boots, she found it disgusting and she finally gave in. As the years went by, the old queen got used to the puss in boots. Now if she doesn't see the cat licking boots daily, she would feel a sense of uneasiness. Bootlicking has become a habit for the puss in some ways....

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Decisions mould what your future life will be. It governs the whole life with the steps that you take in life. With good decisions comes blessings, promotion and a better life ahead, with bad ones, your life comes crashing at a small breeze, it becomes fragile to a situation.

I once heard someone commented that he wants to leave the company and that someone already has offered a better deal. I am happy for him. Whichever it is, I think it's good training ground and with a pay increment, why not. If you feel that you are stuck somewhere, root yourself out and just move to a better ground. Somewhere where you will be more appreciated for your attitudes, skills and experiences. I've learnt a lot from this someone these past few months, though he's a person who jokes a lot but he's a person very dedicated to his job and does it at it's best, without giving people the pressure. He is afterall not so happy here, so if there's somewhere better, just go for it, rather than be stuck here at the same position for the rest of your life. Without much appreication from your superior too, I feel that you will be happier elsewhere.

Happy making a good decision! Whichever it is, all the best to you! And pls don't forget us!!!!!

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Sometimes I wanna revenge on those that hurt me and get back at them, but what's the point, it means more and more hurts will be inflicted on both parties. At times i want to do some childish revenge like planting a stink bomb or dig some dog's poop and plant it at that person's desk. Maybe in a small corner where the person cannot find. :P Yes I can be childish at times and I know it... but it's just a thought that makes me wanna laugh and forget all those things that is happening. Sometimes I just hope that I am not so emotional and think of the past memories. It's just that it's difficult to let go.... I'm trying my best, but it's still there... just give me more time to sort things out...

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Let It Go lyrics
(feat. Missy Elliott, Lil Kim)

You need to get if he don't wanna
Love you the right way he ain't gonna
It ain't where he's at its where he
Where he wanna be

(Huh huh oOoh)
(Huh huh oOoh)
(Huh huh oOoh)
(Huh huh)

[Missy Elliott]
(I don't want yo man)
Cause I got it like that
But it ain't even gotta be like that
(Eh he he he he)
Yo man he be callin me back
Cause see I'm fine and a matter of fact
(Eh he he he he)
He asked how I do dat dat
Fit my jeans over baby fat
Listen
I don't know the type of tricks he playin
But I should warn you I don't want ya man

[Keyshia Cole]
I understand why you wanna try
Make him stay home late at night
But if wanna go he'll be gone no lie
I can't explain how many times I tried
How many times I cried
Thinkin about mine and where he might be
Remember when I gave everything I got
Couldn't get deep down inside
How ya love someone who didn't love me

[Hook 1]
But now I get if he don't wanna
Love you the right way he ain't gonna
It ain't where he's at it's where he
Where he wanna be

[Chorus]
If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

[Missy Elliott]
When this song come on in the club
They gon be like
Damn that's hot
And when they play it in they car
They gon drop they tops like
Damn that's hot
They gon mix it wit Biggie "It was all a dream" like
Damn that's hot
Me and Keyshia won't stop
Til the tick don't tock like
Damn that's hot

[Keyshia Cole]
Now understand why I take my time
Cause you come wit alibis
Trynna get me to see thats where you trynna be
But I dont want yo man
Yo mans been callin me
Trynna get me to see
That he wants me to be wit him
But he ain't the one for me
And if you only knew
You would
Do what you had to
Finally see that

[Hook 2]
You need to get if he don't wanna
Love you the right way he ain't gonna
It ain't where he's at its where he
Where he wanna be

[Chorus]
If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

[Lil Kim]
Here's a little lesson Lil Kim don't stress em
Kick em all straight to the curb like Beckham
Broke up wit my Ex he wit her for now but
Little do she know she just a rebound
Callin my phone she so outta pocket
I been there before o'girl you need to stop it
Trickin on me when he tell you he ain't got it
You don't get the picture
My pictures in his wallet
Never ever thought I would leave him alone
But I let a dog roam now he wanna come home
But I
Don't trust him
Though I still love him
No longer want him
Lookin at his cousin
Kinda buzzin
Loose off the goose
Got him on a chase like cranberry juice
When he's wit you he's wishin it was me
You might be where he's at but I'm where
He wanna be (Baby Baby!)

Let It Go
Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go
Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go
Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go

[Chorus]
If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
If he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

If he ain't gonna love you
The way he should
Then let it go
And if he ain't gonna treat you
The way he should
Then let it go

[Missy Elliott]
When this song come on in the club
They gon be like
Damn that's hot
And when they play it in they car
They gon drop they tops like
Damn that's hot
They gon mix it wit Biggie "It was all a dream" like
Damn that's hot
Me Kim and Keyshia don't stop
Til the tick don't tock like
Damn that's hot

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I think today I'm going to sleep on the plane... :P Time to just rest and then do nothing on the plane. The gals say that they wanna drunk me... but i think just too tired to drink... :P today will reach bkk at 11.30 pm and reach hotel maybe 12 am... haha.. bathe then sleep liao...

But one thing is that friday, most of those gals that don't really stand out one, are damn pretty and curvacious. :P My da bao, mushroom bao and xiao long bao, all so pretty today! I feel that they are the prettiest in SMN....without doubts.

It's feels like the movie "sex in the city"...when all the 4 of us go overseas... haha...

Nvm, I shall blog about my whole journey when I'm back! Time to enjoy and shop till I drop big time!!! Scared that really buy so many things coz I am very good at spotting things and buying them. Haha.... I love shopping and it's the best thing that ever happen to me. Although money flies away but the adventure and thrill of shopping is so exiting. I love shoes, clothes, accessories, makeup and bags!!!!

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Happy shopping, happy eating and happy bitching around... :P

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Not that I don't want to be flexible about things and I know sometimes I may seem to be the "pai lang" to get things done. I seem to be forcing ppl up the wall and people really cannot take it already, but also must understand, that I also have instructions from people to carry wor. If I don't do, then I will also kena shit from ppl. Hai~ I also want to be flexible and decide and not pamper people so much. Probably I'm not cut out for these kinda administrative job, but it's the thing that I've worked on for the past few years. I hate administrative but the fear of stepping into other career paths just hinders me from doing what is best for myself. Still many things to learn and not be so "straight" in mindset and just blindly carry out instructions. What to do, got to learn loh. Hate to do but still got to do loh. See how it goes bah... Thanks tew bao for the wonderful lesson learnt.

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You can call me a mountain tortise coz in my life, I've only been on the plane like less than 3 times, most of them, flying less than 2 hours. This is the first time in 5 years that I've travelled once again on a plane. This time, leaving for a place called bangkok with my other colleagues. The second time that I've travelled on my own elsewhere. Wow...for someone who's not been able to travel a lot, this is definitely some excitement for me. The thing is that I still got to work on my birthday coz the flight is like at night after work, so the gals and I are planning to go on the plane after work. For someone like xiao long bao and mushroom bao, this may be a getaway from all the hectic work schedules and frequent flights that do not have time to enjoy or sightsee. This year made me recall many unhappy memories in the previous relationship, it is a time when I travelled with him for a trip to KL. A time when we were deciding that we shouldn't be together. Many memories seem to have passed by and it's already close to a year since we last broke up or contacted. You can call me heartless, but I do not want to have any relationship or whatsoever with that guy. That's why until now I'm still very reluctant to go into a relationship fearing that I would be hurt again. I think singlehood is still the best as I get to do whatever I want, rather than have a control freak in my life. Someone who takes me for granted and puts me on the shelf when I'm not needed. Now is just work and living a life of enjoyment with friends that care about me. Family that love me and nothing else matters if all these people are around. Maybe it will take a long time to cause myself to open up again to someone whom I can commit to in a relationship. I'm tired and I just want to rest.

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The low cut Queen
She dresses to kill and often "killed" those who walked passed her with her to-die-for cleavage. It's not that she wants to dress like that but it's not long before that cleavage wither, sag and wrinkle infront of her as the age catches up on her. Just give her a few more years to show that to-die-for cleavage, it won't be long before she doesn't dare to show it anymore.

The cunning cat
This "little" kitty has the ability to charm you. You may think that it's just a kitty with no threat, but who knows what this kitty is thinking. She may be as quiet as a mouse, but deep inside, she's cunning. Many have died under her paws. This is the favorite pet of this low cut queen and often snuggles herself to her, purrs her way through tough situations and without doubt, the low cut queen would do all it takes to solve that problem for her. It's her priceless kitty you know, if you get near that kitty, you're dead meat. Don't mess with the kitty because it doesn't seem so harmless as it seems. Her paws are full of sharpened nails that would slice you up on a double.

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This is one that that I cannot stand for the longest time. It's not that I don't want to pack my room, just that I don't even have the time to sleep or rest. I need a good rest for the longest time and you do is nag and criticise. For a minute, I wish that you would just give me some peace and not talk about things. Just keep things to yourself and maybe I would pick myself up to pack my room. With never ending nagging, I just don't want to do things. You may call that rebellious or what does it seems. It's just me or is it just the thing inside of me that's longing for peace.

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Just imagine the 4 of us, going on a trip really makes my heart go wild. I don't know how wild or crazy we gals will be but certainly it will be a meaningful trip to bangkok, coz I will be with my best-est galfriends on this trip. It will certainly strengthen our friendship and leave meaningful memories that will carry us through our lives. We gals have not known each other for long but it seems that we've known each other for ages. They were there through my happy times and my sad times, certainly friends that are worthy of. Friends of such are hard to come by and I promise that I will cherish you gals forever. Love you lots!!!

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I came across these 2 extreme persons today. A certain colleague was describing her encounter to me. Therefore, I've derived that there are a few of these around in every office. One is the Taiji Grand Master and the other is the Kan Chiong Spider. Let me with no further ado introduce these 2 highlights of the day.

The Taiji Grand Master
He is one that is outwardly very mild, with much composure. Someone who's not a threat to anyone, someone who's a goody 2 shoes infront of others, constantly saving his "taiji" energy to it's fullest potential. When things arises, he would use those stored energy of "taiji" essence and pushes all tasks, blames to others, causing those around him to be injured terribly. The best thing that he does is to teh gong (act blur).

The Kan Chiong Spider
He is the one that constantly behaves busy even though he is not. Despite having 8 legs is not enough, he must have more. When he finishes doing something, he will find other things to do, to keep his many legs busy. Constantly very uptight and nervous about situations, fearing that he would be put to blame. The best asset is to give others more tasks to do too. He will bug you until a certain task is done, regardless of how unimportant a task may be. The task certainly will enhance portfolio at work and for his superior to take notice of him. His relationship with people sometimes can become strained because of the fear that he would hand down more task to whomever that he deems fits to the task. He may be anyone around, but certainly this person can be found anywhere in the world, in any office.

I can say that everyone feels that these 2 categories of person is both of the extreme and might be familiar to you. Keep a lookout for them and you will be surprised to find them surrounding you.

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=) Mood is happy mood today.... thinking constantly about bkk trip... hope friday comes asap...

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No mood no mood to work.... super hyper holiday mood....

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Was reading this article today....on the newspaper under the classified section....

Are you the office pet or pest?

Thought that it might a bit interesting for reading so was so drawn to read it. It's really true about what the article said.

We could be so busy pointing out other's flaws that we're blind to how bad we ourselves are

WE so often moan about colleagues like X always coming in late or Y and her bootlicking antics that we probably forget we're no angels ourselves. If you want an amiable working environment, do your part by not turning into an office pest too.

You are not the centre of the universe
No, the world doesn't revolve around you and every conversation doesn't have to start with "I" or My", Give others an equal chance to be seen and heard. And just because your colleague in the neighbouring cubicle doesn't complain, it doesn't mean she enjoys listening to your domestic woes every morning either.

Separate work and personal tasks
Brief personal phone calls to friends and family are acceptable in the workplace, but not long chit-chats with a long-lost pal. Do your personal errands during lunchtime. If your co-workers can manage their time, so should you. If you work from home, resist the temptation to appear to be working when you're acutally taking a nap or walking the dog during office hours.

Stop being a control-freak
ARe you the human obstacle co-workers have to get around to get their jobs done? Don't hold up the workflow by micro-managing and questioning every small detail. It shows that you don't trust others or think very highly of yourself.

Be a team player
Doing your own work during a meeting sends a message that this even or these people are unimportant to you. And don't criticise suggestions just for the fun of it; make a comment only when you have something constructive to add. Everyone else has made the effort to contribute to the discussion despite their own heavy workload, so the least you could do is give them your attention.

Communication clearly
Not everybody knows the sound of your voice as well as your mother, so identify yourself at the beginning of each phone conversation. Don't launch straight into the middle of some topic while assuming that the person on the other end of the line knows who's calling.

Get rid of annoying bad habits
You may think it's "normal behaviour", but your colleagues may not feel the same way if you insist on walking around barefoot and and exposing your athelete's foot infection or borrowing your neighbour's highlighter and eraser everyday when you have your own.

Respect other's privacy
There's a fine line between concern and nosiness It's all right to ask how your colleague is feeling after a long illness, but don't force her to give you details ranging from what medication she took to how much her hospital bill was, if she seems reluctant to divulge them.

haha...seems so interesting... found that sometimes we just amplify other's flaws and don't look at what flaws we have. Maybe we are more pesty than that person that we hate the most in the office.

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Don't know why I've been getting sick so often lately. Maybe it's due to the stress encountered at home and at work.....

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Really fed up with these so called old birds ler...do also die, don't do also die...just like today, I was told that I took in the wrong invoice for inventory. What? you were the one that told me to take in coz the items were ordered under the wrong customer code. So in the first place, you could have advise me not to do take in. I was thinking lots this time round, should I follow instructions or not? I don't even know what is going on and it's the first time that I've encountered this but after following instructions, I got reprimanded and it's all my fault. Ok, you all win... I give up ler...

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So unhappy with the appraisal lah..coz more added job scope. Supposed to take over the job scope of all the admin from someone. Then she can happily go and do sales. I know it's like good lah..but added job scope, no pay increase...I felt so disgusted loh. It ended up like I got more and more things to do and I am like supporting so many people. And when mom was commenting yesterday that fresh grad also got higher pay and better working environment than me. Wah..super pissed off. But then must get job first then leave mah. No one appreciates me here anyway, so it's pointless sometimes to want to continue to work here. I am definitely open to options. See how bah. Sucky bonus, sucky management, sucky job... everything sucks here big time.

Heard that some are not happy with the friday dress your own clothes theme, so they just chose to dress their ugliest. Go against the flow and hopefully the plan to re-vamp would be unsuccessful. We are all trying this for a month. Already there's factory accident, so funny, they've not seen people dressing up is it? Are they just hermits living in caves whom have not met up with anyone since the 18th century? haha... I really don't know. Though it's weird wearing something different for office but it definitely brightens up the whole office coz of the colours. Especially Dai Bao, so pretty today! :) Extremely gorgeous ler, and a head turner!!! My xiao long bao also never fails to be pretty too!!! And mushroom, forever slowing "cleavage"...keke... and mr tew seems to be forever bz.... I am only blogging coz I'm just taking a short break to type something.

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OBESITY is part of my life now!!! When can I ever be pretty outwardly again???? I realised that my clothes are so ugly ler and I don't even have anything decent enough to wear to office. With the immense weight I've put on for the past months due to stress and depression, none of my previous nice clothes fit me anymore. I think everyone who sees me lately, will comment that "what happen to you??? SO FAT NOW!!!!" Think my ex-bf would laugh his head off!!! I am done with..and I feel so ugly now... no more pretty slim me already... I've put on about 10 kgs for the past few months and that's a lot loh!! Seriously need to lose weight and fit into the clothes. My mom's been nagging that my butt's getting a whole lot bigger and that I've got lots of "tyres" around my tummy area. How do I lose weight when eating is one of the best way to keep myself happy at times. Sian...sian sian... I feel so blardee fat these days. Having lots of double chins, flabby skins and age is really catching up on me. When will I slim down to be myself again? That's a question that I would like to ask myself these days. No motivation to lose weight... no motivation to do anything. Seriously, going to bkk will be worse coz eating and eating will be one of the routine of the trip...so will be a whole lot fatter when I touch down in singapore. Wow...maybe by then I am 80 kgs or more already... wah wah wah... FAT...OBESITY!!!!! Buying clothes is a lot tougher these days... nothing of my style fits and everything looks so ugly on me. 2 years ago, I could easily wear a bikini and walk confidently... but these days... I look like an obesed auntie... that is so sucky!!!! HELP HELP!!! I NEED TO GET BACK TO 55KGS OF WEIGHT... NOW I'M 75KGS.... 20KGS..when would I really lose it???? When your age is getting older, weight lost becomes tougher... SAD SAD SAD!!!!!!!!!

OBESITY starts in the mind... :) when your mind is obese, everything else sinks into that stage I guess... :)

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August is a new start I guess.

Haaa...Y do I say so??

1) Company HR finally went with the change for us to wear our own clothes on friday. It's called the "My Friday Style". Duh...so paiseh to wear home clothes to office coz don't know what people would say. I chose to wear my most conservative and not overly dressed wear to work. But the fact is, I'm still overly dressed. I wore a long skirt with a baby doll blouse...duh...people here...maybe don't know how to dress. I even saw someone wearing a nice blouse with company ugly pants. *faintz* I love to go out dressing nicely but to office...I rather wear the office uniform. Why? Coz it's factory environment, you can't wear so corporately anyway and most of my clothes are either corporate wear, casual wear or too short or loud. If I were to wear it to the office, I think people will die of a heart attack, given their conservativeness in mindset. Probably the people here are too cooped up with the fact that they don't even dress up unless it's a function. I've too got people saying that they would not want such a change as it's too tedious. Why change after so many years? - someone would comment..but change is inevitable in an environment. The world is changing, we are changing, as long as it improves the environment, culture and working attitudes and habits, why not the change? If we don't go with the change, then the change will devour us.

2) I am a turning a year older this month. As birthday is getting nearer and nearer, I've been thinking, have I grown wiser as the years drained on my youth. These years have just been passing clouds as so many unhappy things have happened. All that I would not wish to happen, happened. I have grown as a person, in my attitude towards things, matured as a person as well as gained many valuable life experiences that would carry me through the next coming years. To think of it, I need a breakthrough in my career and I need to just settle down in a place and work and grow from there. Earn more $$ and then enjoy my work life. Learn how to age gracefully into the 30's. Time really flies, yesterday you were a toddler, the next minute you were a child and the next hour you are already a youth, and the next day you are a matured late 20's woman. Till this date, I've not accomplished anything in life. Therefore, in the next few years, my dream is to establish a career and become someone stronger and develope it. I guess this is a maturing stage of the mind. It's time to age gracefully and settle down in everything. Save up and go for trips, enhance myself in education and lifestyle.

3) Get out of depression and live a happier life.

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lala... I am so looking forward for next week's trip...

NEED TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN... HOPE IT'LL BE FUN!!!!

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I got pooped on my hair by a stupid birdy today. Here I am all clean and smelling really good, with a good shower and hair wash today but when I was about the board the company bus, I got pooped on my hair! Ewww...it's all slimy and black with a weird smell!!! Spoilt my day coz my hair stinks of birdy poop.

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A great time spent communicating with myself yesterday. Cried the whole night until my eyes are all puffed up, didn't really sleep much. I agree that I am depressed. For some reasons, tears just flow without stopping. I wonder why am I so emotional lately, probably due to the stress at work and at home. Sometimes I just feel that the world is closing up on me, and that it's so difficult to breathe. Well at least I released some of the tension yesterday crying to sleep at night. It was a slient cry and I didn't want my parents to know what is going on at work although I shared a bit yesterday, but mom was apparently just mocking at me for being stupid at work and so naive to take instructions. "Need to filter, not everything said must believe," that's what comes out from her mouth. I just shelf that comment in the "drawer" again, filtering it off and not listening to it. I want her to know what is going on, but sometimes it's really not that I don't wanna share with her, but it's because, she just mocks and jokes a whole lot of it. That's why when I share, I don't share much and tell it as my friend's situation, instead of mine. I know she means no harm but these days, she doesn't encourage me at all. I don't have support from family in any other way, emotionally, they are always absent. They mock and they compare, that's why I don't feel secure as a person at times. Home to me most days is just to rest after work and nothing else. At most we watch tv together and most of the time we don't even talk much. I know I'm not their "dream" child that is intelligent, earns lots of money and owns a degree in education, but don't compare me inorder for me to improve myself. Comparing only makes me want to give up more. I am always never good enough in your eyes and that comparison is inevitable. I don't care how much other children in your friend's family or my cousin earn. They are they and I am who I am. I hate it when they compare, it just discounts me, shames me, discourages me, insecure me, and most of all ridicule/insult me. I don't want to give up on this family and neither will I want to hate them. This is my life and I want to make the best out of it, no matter what happens. Although it's hard to place my heart into a relationship and put trust in it, I will still do my best to be real to everyone, to be vulnerable to friends and family members, despite the wanting to protect myself at times. It's difficult to trust when most of the time you are hurt. I am trying to change and do give me some time. Most of the time, it's not that I don't wanna share to people who are concern about me, just that it's sometimes difficult to share to people who do not or have not gone through this phase of life or that sharing is difficult for me when I don't know if I can fully trust a person with everything. That's why I don't have many close friends. I know that you are somehow older and have more experience in life, but just that I want to be alone sometimes. Figure out what I wanna say and what to do. Talking to people I feel might not solve the problem but at least they are there for you. I feel less tired today and finally I've finished my closing and surprisingly that psst today isn't that emotionally tempermental today. Maybe I'm already prepared to face shit today that's why I'm more or less prepared in my heart that whatever scoldings or harsh words that she says, I will not take into considerations. Thank God that everything is smooth going today, well at least I really hope that things at home would really settle down and not be so chaotic. I love my family but sometimes just feel that things would be a lot better if they just don't find things to quarrel about. I feel stressful at work and all I want to do is go home to a peaceful one, not one that is all about complains and complains. Dad is searching for a job but with his age and mindset, I really hope that he finds one that is less taxing on him physically. Mom suggested that he goes back to driving a cab, but rental is expensive and maybe the whole family just got to scrimp and save a little, spent a lot lesser and everything that is not necessary got to be postpone to other times. That will mean going for trips, shopping for clothes, eating at restuarants/KTV or other fun felt activities. Guess the whole family got to bite through this tough times. That's what family is for right? We bite through the tough situations and times. Staying together is the most important thing! :) Just got to work here for another year, job searching is for the future I guess. Need to support my family the best that I can for now. I don't know how...just got to bite the bullet and grow from it! :) It's just mama and me now supporting the family and hope those relatives don't come and borrow money from us. Hope those "leeches" better don't come near and suck those $$ out of us when we are in this situation. Forgive me when I refer my relatives to these "leeches" coz they really "suck" us dry if there is a chance for them to do so. I know, I know, they are still family...

No matter what my parents/family are or what they have said to me, I will still love them for who they are.... I am trying my best to live this life, and I need a whole lot of encouragements.

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Blogging has been my best friend lately. Venting all my frustrations and thoughts here. It's a channel where I can just say things and then forget about it. A place where I empty and forget about everything. Haha... Blog and forget about it loh. Then happy liao... :)

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Hahahahaha... it's not the first time and never the last. Seems like there's so many birdies chirpping here and there as loud as possible. I heard that someone just shouted so loud yesterday night and made a big hooo haaa that I didn't take the invoices down to finance. Really shitty ler.. Why must that person shout? If I were her, I will just help to bring it down loh. Is it really so big deal to make things difficult for people? Or that your ego forbids you to help others?

I've been surrounded by irritating people lately... REALLY IRRITATED...

I'm really agreeable with Dabao that when you do so many things but yet people here especially the boss is so unappreciative... for me that psst is equally unappreciative loh... I'm just shutting up unless I really need to talk... It's just work talk and nothing else.

I really got no blardee mood to enjoy my birthday.

"when the going gets tough, the tough gets going" ----> I wonder how long can I talk all these nonsense... :)

Cheer up cheer up ----> I keep telling myself that... Just smile loh... maybe smiling is just a way of running away rather than being positive.

If my friends weren't around, I think I would have already gone mad... :) Thanks for being there!!!

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These weeks, I am so. I can say that my life right now is like a sad soap opera. Dad lost his job again due to his conflicts with the boss. He quit again thinking that my uncle will recommend him a job. Now mom is depressed and keeps nagging because of finances. Dad avoids mom as much as possible sometimes fearing that he will get nagged at. I too, don't feel like going home sometimes. The whole family seems to have conflicts too. Uncle is too traditional in mindset and wants my auntie to write him a proper invitation card for cousin's wedding, if not he wouldn't want to turn up for the wedding. Both ended up quarrelling like mad. Yeap, I agree that some of my older folks in the family are damn childish and really dramatic at times, but what to do, I myself value family a lot and these happen to affect me sometimes. I keep to myself most of the stuffs and sometimes just want to ask them to shut up and get on with life man. So childish!!!! Grow up lah!!! Stop quarrelling over little issues and stop finding things to quarrel lah. Can't this family be more peaceful at least. Some of my aunties and uncles, because of their noseyness also try to make the situation worse. Since my dad is the eldest son of the whole family, he naturally stepped to dissolve the quarrel between his siblings. Whole family all they know is quarrel. Sometimes I really envy those that don't and live happily together. It's sad that we try not to see each other as much as possible and only gather when chinese new year is around. They only come when they need $$ and I really hate it. My dad despite having so little will try his best to squeeze those $$ and give to them, even when he himself doesn't have enough. Hello! My family is not an ATM you know. Take $$ and then don't return. I've come to the point that I don't know how to cry infront of people or infront of God ler. Work is depressing too coz boss keep saying one thing and doing another, until the point where I don't know to do or not to do. Do also get scolding, don't do also results the same. It's like I am the one that is getting all the scolding because I followed his instructions and he forgotten all about those instructions. Someone too has been backstabbing as usual and the tension of the pressure at work is getting stronger. Sometimes I feel so stupid coz of the words that people say, it's so demoralising at work. Now like everyone in the office thinks that I'm stupid and that I cannot perform any task. They don't talk to me or ask me anything. Even when it's something within my job scope...they rather ask someone else. So often i feel that many things I am so unequipped and I often get scoldings because of my forgetfulness or that I don't know what to do or do the wrong things for that task. These days coming to work is like a chore and I have no passion for my work or whatsoever. I come to work each day and then knock off at 5.30 pm, just merely do work and then go off. I don't talk to people here or anything, keep my mouth shut as much as possible. I can't leave without a job or go for an interview coz my leave balance is minimum and that the family needs financial support. Sometimes I agree that I want to run away from life itself but I know that it is not the way. haha... I have seemed to put on a strong front among you all these days but I think I cannot take the pressure any longer. So so so tired ler... and I have lost sleep lately thinking about all the problems. It's scary to know how weak and vunerable I am lately. I've been crying on the inside and praying lately but don't seem to have that breakthrough. I told God that I am so tired with all these rubbish, really very very tired.

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So quiet in office coz am so bz...drowned with work that I don't even have time to surf net or create a post here. No mood to work too. No mood to do anything that's the problem, but definitely looking forward to a wonderful trip to bkk. Just wondering that how come there's no appraisal for me? So weird. Maybe not entitled to any bonus or anything. Sian... no money again. Think after the bkk trip i can happily eat grass the whole month already....so sian... bills and bills.... What's life in singapore becoming???? Can't possibly live with this miserable pay and job. It's paying worse than peanuts sia. hahahahahahaha... disappointed with the selection of job. I am thinking of leaving but don't want to give up. I love some of the people here but the environment sucks pretty much. Haha...it contains most of the closest people and the suckiest people around. Am I thinking the worst to come? Am I always so disappointed with the job or people around? I really don't know... I really don't know. Life seems so listless these days that I don't even know what to look forward to liao. Working here doesn't seem to have anything surprising these days. I know I'm not in the favorites list here... so what... I don't know how to "por" people...let alone the management here. I am like an open book... happy or sad...seems to be written all over my face. So what? I'm being real... not like some people...fake to the end... :) I want to be real to myself and real to this world... is it wrong???? Am I getting more and more dislikeful to this world that I am in???? Smiles seems to be taken away from my face lately... How come I am not what I am used to be ler??? What is happening to me??? There's many things that I don't know... I sometimes feel so stupid...

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how come need to enter password one... so bored sia...can't even do anything here...

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:) Glad to have met up with you last sunday!! We have not met each other since we've all graduated! Indeed the world is getting smaller with technology and we can always communicate through skype, but my computer is currently down and it would take quite sometime for me to save up for a new laptop. Really missed the times we had in SOT. So happy that you are happily married and that your husband is so sweet to you! Thanks for the encouragements that you've given us even though it's just for a short period of 2 hours! Really hope to pop by india soon to visit you and your family!!! :) Time to save up and cya in india!!! I will try to pop by next year and hopefully will get to see your baby!!!

Heee.... love ya!!!
Grace

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Sometimes i need to get myself in the momentum of not suppressing my emotions. When I feel bad about certain things, my habit is to just chuck it somewhere else where it cannot be found anymore. And if it does comes up again, I will just kick it away. Probably it's my way of running away from those emotions that I don't want to face. Lately I find it hard to cry or laugh as before.... what is happening to me? Am I shutting down on the inside... the more I want to appear strong infront of people, the more I can't bring myself to do it. I just don't want the fact that friends have to worry for me... I want them to be happy...and not worry about me...

*AM I RUNNING AWAY*

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I'm so tired lately..don't know y. Tired of everything, just wanna rest and do nothing. How nice to stay at home and not do anything, something like a couch potato. Everything seems so emotional lately, not knowing why. My life is just tiring sometimes with the amount of work I'm getting. Mom's complaining why I've been putting on weight lately, she somehow doesn't realise that I am stressed up. Think my way of releasing stress is shopping and eating. I need to somehow get out of this emotional tension... getting out of that circle that I've been running in and out. I hope that the bangkok trip next month will do great! I want a fabulous birthday and an enjoyable one that I can just be myself. Let down my hair and be crazy...

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There's so many things that I really don't know. Sometmes just feel that I am so ignorant about things, that I really need to read more and learn more. Each day I admit that there's a whole lot of things to learn. Even when I get scoldings or criticised, I think the best is still to ask. It's really to put down everything and ask, at least I've learnt something.

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Wah..today i'm so bz that i didn't even post anything...didn't have any mood to write anything too... just wanna tell my friends that tmr we are going to enjoy our day at the movie outing and also have fun after that!!! :)

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I am only bored at certain times of the day but especially bored today. I don't think I am that free up at work but sometimes after everything is done, things are back to their mundane state of processing incoming shipments, and preparing proforma invoices for customers to make payments. Most of the time I am monitoring the order status, but all these have seem to become a chore to me and a great deal of mastering how to keep myself awake in times of looking at the data. It's so boring and I feel so unchallenged in my work. Most of the time I don't even get to talk to people and it's such a boring thing. Tiring too. My eyes are always half open in the afternoon of the day and I need to force it wide open incase someone spots it. Sometimes I do admit that I doze off and try so hard to keep myself awake.

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Thoughts and feelings come and go, sometimes it will only linger for a minute or so. As human beings, we are emotional in one way or another and we just need to balance ourselves and let go of the bad emotions at times. Don't hold on to grudges, hurts and make yourself so miserable. Happiness is just a step away. Enjoy life to the fullest at this moment and you will find that the world isn't as bad as it seems. Learnt to look at the world in another point of view and you will find that it is such a beautiful world.

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How far will you go to stand obnoxious people? People who are too arrogant and hold their head up high, nostrils literally "starring" at you. They can be anyone around you, regardless of their status. I can say that there are many people who are obnoxious in one way or another. Example, one can be obnoxious about what they have, the clothes that they wear. Most obnoxious people tend to think that they are under exposed, thus wanting to show that they are usually the best in their trade, appearance...etc. I don't agree that people with money are more obnoxious, people without much can too be obnoxious, those "pretendees" of the high society. They pretend to be rich and claimed to have many rich friends, even if those friends are miles away and don't even remember them when being mentioned at a tea party. They claim to live in pretty big houses off somewhere but in actual fact, they are only living in rented apartments. They splurge enormously and extensively on branded and diamonds, but couldn't even afford a decent meal. I think whenever I meet up with these people, I will just *smile* and walk away. There's nothing much in common anyway and I don't think I want to become obnoxious in the eyes of others.

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时间的流失... time really flies when you are unaware of it. Wow...I've already worked here for nearly a year. Till now I'm still very much unsure of my work, the processes and what to do. Can say that I'm really an amateur in my own trade. It's time to master something before I leave....don't wanna be a jack of all trades and a master in none. Got to endure to the very end....study...get my degree and leave... that will be another 2 to 3 yrs later...

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Everyday I will faithfully update my blog... heee...so fun!!!!!!!!!

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Don't even know if i can still be able to go for bkk trip a not... so poor nowadays...without a single cent to my name... :( Money comes and goes like that....

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Sian sian sian... no $$ again... $$ flying off faster and faster!!!!!

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It's takes one line to love or hate a person. Friendship and enemies are also one line away. Each person's line is different. Some may have a fragile line, some colourful and some strong and sturdy like a rope. In life, we all have these 3 kind of lines in our lives.

The fragile line
To people whom we love, the line of boundary is very fragile. When we are angry, we tend to draw a line but when they apologise to us or make us happy, that line disappears and we appear very friendly and bounder less with them again.

The colourful ones
These lines are colourful because for each individual friends that we initially gotten to know, we place different colour lines to set different set so boundaries. These lines determine how far a relationship can go or should we just cut away that friendship and go our separate ways. Each individual relationship is different and hence the lines will help us to differentiate what level of friendship that person is in. Each line begins with the same level of thickness but as times goes by, the line either becomes thinner or thicker.

The strong and sturdy line
These lines become thicker because of the hurts and misgivings that people encounter. Afraid to trust the other parties or new people again. They tend to level up the thickness when they sense danger is near.

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We are so close to revealing the "secret" blogs that we all have been faithfully writing when someone overheard tew bao for commenting that he has a blog. It's OK lah, our beloved tew bao. Just that got to keep this blog away from that very person that we all are fearful about. Luckily our tew bao is clever enough to have a dummy blog just for her to read. It's scary when she says excitedly that she would want to read his blog. This person is none other than our wonderful blabbermouth that secrets cannot be kept. Letting her know or read the blog means letting the whole world know our secrets. It's that scary!!!!! I am OK with people reading my blog but just not her. It's not that I dislike her to the core or anything, just that having the thought of her invading my privacy, is just horrendous. This is the little breathing space that I have without her watching or spying over me. So let me have this little space OK? I never want her anywhere near me,that's why in office, I keep my boundaries. If there's any way that I don't have to have contacts with her, I will not. She can scold me for being stupid or useless but this space is never a space that I will let her into... :) It sounds hateful, but why would I let someone as cunning as she into my life or rather virtual life?? It's ironic that sometimes I feel like an "open book" where she knows how to read my thoughts and this is the place where I can truely vent whatever frustrations that I have and keep my "book" close. This is where I can talk it out and vent out and not let her read into me. Yes I have to work under her but that doesn't mean that I need to do anything to please her. :) I don't hate her, just don't like her stepping into this world that I have. To me she's just a colleague and nothing much. If one day, she meant to come and read this? ***** BACK OFF ***** :) That's how crude I can be at times. I've changed but if it were me in the past, she's already living that miserable life. I'm not in my past anymore, a changed person, so if I can stop history from repeating itself when I can't endure it any longer, I will by all means do it. So let me do my work properly, stop invading into my world when I don't like you, and I will stop invading into yours. I'm already a survival of your "verbal abuse" and criticisim, so let me have peace working here. I am doing my best at work already, so stop picking on me. :) Endurance has a limit and when that limit breaks, all hell breaks loose... I don't know when that will be.... that's what I told myself. Maybe when I am drove to desperateness, then this "bad" me will jump out and protect little good old me.... Just probably I've forgotten how to take revenge or harbour any evil thoughts towards those who have done injustice to me. I've somehow forgotten that person in the past, where I would fight back to the fullest.

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When I was young, I had 2 extreme dreams. One is to grow up to be a designer and the other is to be a writer, but as times goes by, these 2 dreams seem to have faded away due to circumstances or rather the wrong decisions that I've made. Thinking about life, I've always wanted to do something majestic, wanted to be someone important in the society, but these days I've felt so small on the inside. Thoughts of being never good enough constantly ride on me. Sometimes I just don't want these thoughts to pounce on me. It does feel scarely when I feel so helpless. I feel as though I was sinking deeper and deeper into something that was never meant to be there. Am I never good enough in the things that I do? Why do I constantly compare myself with others? Is my mind ever so negative in thoughts? Helplessness does constantly sink in, even though I keep reminding and feeding myself with happy and positive thoughts. It gets worse when people reprimand or criticise me. Family pressure is one that overwhelms me too. Mom keeps pressuring me to earn and save more money, but she doesn't see that it's so difficult when cost are rising and my pay is so miserable. There seems to be endless bills or things to pay for. I want to be able to do the things that I want and yet earn $$. Singapore is such a competitive place that if you don't strive or put in effort, you will be butted off without a reason. I've been wanting to study and enhance my educational background but $$ is a factor. $$ is never enough when you have mouths to feed at home and bills to pay. Am I working because of $$ or letting $$ work for me? Life is so difficult when the fact that I don't have much $$ or savings at the end of the month. It's so difficult to scrooge and pardon me for being that scrooge sometimes because I really need that $$. My parents are getting old and I really need to save up for rainy days sometimes. Here I am trying my very best to save but my parents don't see that I am doing any progress in saving. Criticism does sink in when $$ is an issue. They keep saying that I am a good-for-nothing bum at home and that how come I don't even contribute much to the family expenses. It's saddening in my heart when I hear all these. Sometimes I feel that I want to just run off to some other countries, get a job there and settle somewhere that no one knows me. As much as I know that it's an immature feeling but I feel so pressured in my own life. As pressure sinks in, it's often difficult to breathe.

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I love to write about things. It's an complishment actually. I hope to write for a magazine someday. It's the only thing that I love and feel free in... :) That's why blogging has become a part of my life these days as I get to express my inner thoughts and feelings.

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I tend to be negative in my blog but in actual life, I am quite positive. This is just a place where I want to let go of the the bad emotions and thoughts. I rather take it and leave it here, rather than harbour the bad emotions and thoughts for the rest of the week. Life is though working here but I am ok. I've learnt to let go of it and let God take control... :)

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Don't understand why people like to switch on the aircon until it's 16 degree celsius... Hello, global warming ler...it's already so cold in the office that I want to go into hybernating mode... I feel like a naked polar bear....cold cold cold***

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Haha...here I am blogging about the experiences that I have with these people. The 5 "W"s I would say and certainly another blog that will cause you to be flabbergasted and entertained.

1) Weirdos

2) What's what - the gossip mongers

3) Wanderers

4) Workaholics

5) "Why" people



The Weirdos

The definition: An odd, eccentric, or unconventional person.

In all my 28 years of life, I think the place that I encountered the most weirdos is in this current company. Somehow I feel that those people who have spent most of their lives here are odd. Probably they have already submerged themselves into the culture which is so conformed and restricted. I have come to a stage where I can't stand anyone of them. Some have pretty weird mood swings, one moment they are nice and the next minute they behave as if you've massacred their whole family. Some try to be nice but in a fake way, forging their smiles the whole day but deep down inside, they harbour thoughts which are destructive towards you. Will I one day be like that? Having turned into someone who will eventually label me as one weirdo. It takes like discernment and experience to locate who's OK to trust and who's not. The who's who and who's not. Although they behave oddly but they definitely add a pinch of excitement into your life. Most of the time driving you up the great wall of china and stretching that capacity within you.

The What's What A.K.A The Gossip Mongers
The Definition: Analytical, negative and excessively talkative and nosey person.

These people dangerously lurk everywhere and poke into the "secret" and private lives of others. They tend to gossip excessively about what is going on, who's with who and what is what, even when they know little about it. Having been in the limelight for so long and wanting to know what's what, they will seek out new preys to target everyday, causing some of their preys to sink into depression or even suicidal when situations turn from bad to worse. They have a niche in being mendacious about everything. They revolutionised and evangelised the world with their gossipping and they make the best gossip magazine reporters or paparazzis. One common skill that they all have is to makeup stories to make their gossips more entertaining, but they all are able to capture their audience and make them believe that all these stories are true. When talking, they use big elaborations and actions to bring the message across.

The Wanderers
The definition: loner, often seen wandering off into space and being in a world of their own.

They often hide in one corner of the room or can also be lonely in a group of people. They can be classified as emotionally shut down in their lives, unable to express themselves. Often classified as those rejected and unwanted in the society and in the long run, they themselves have come to accept the fact that they are unwanted. Some can be extremely dangerous as you would not know what they will do when they really release what has been harbouring in them for so long. They have very little friends or even no friends.

The Workaholics
The definition: always seen fulfilling their work to the best, even when it cost them their lives.

They work and work and work even when they themselves already have a wonderful materialistic life. All their lives, they've given their hopes and dreams into their job to the extend that they forsake their families and friends. They have no social life of their own and life revolves around their colleagues and work. From weekdays to weekends, they are often seen working and do not have a work life balance. They have the money but do not have people to share it with. Can be seen working 80 hours or more per week. They are the highflyers of the society and the only thing that they splurge on is branded, from prada to chanel. Work is never child's play to them. It's serious business and they live work and breathe work. They are never relaxed and cannot take their mind off work. Death at a young age sometimes sits on them.

The Why's people
The definition: often asks questions and they are very knowledgable in the wrong way.

They ask questions everyday, every minute of their lives, questioning how the earth was formed and why male and female are created in a different way. From life science to philosophy, from things that are dead or alive, to how many molecules does the world have. These people ask and ask and never are tired to seek for knowledge. Often seen as those with high intellectuals and unable to hold a normal conversation with people. People shun away from them, fearing that they are too aggressive in their explaination about things. They are very boring people and always want to talk about themselves or what they have learnt. The best way to avoid them is to tape their conversation down and play it back to them, letting them have a taste of their own medicine. This method can be seen as a backfiring one as they may have misinterpreted that you love their companionship and conversation. Do not use it unless you are so confident about it.

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Seriously don't know what I am doing the whole day... it seems like the last few hours take the longest to pass you by... looking forward to meeting a long "lost" friend for dinner... Have lots of catching up with him today.... We've known each other for 10 yrs but it seems like friendship is drawing apart, not as close as before. Maybe it's due to our busy schedules and that we ourselves have different friends now. It's been so long since I've met up with my pal... Been thinking that will friendships really last a lifetime? I think I have to learn how to be more pro-active in maintaining a friendship. Normally, I'm the passive one, the one that doesn't take actions or do anything to keep a relationship going. Probably, I'm a loner. I love being alone sometimes, but no man's an island.... I seriously need to maintain the friends that I've grown so close to in the past few months. The laughters and the sadness that we've shared, is enough to bring this friendship to a long lasting one. Friends are important in life so that we don't puncture along the way and we constantly have the support in life adventures, ups and downs. I love the gals in my life and hope that we are friends forever!!!! WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER!!!! heee....

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I need a laptop so that I can quit blogging in the office!!!!
Planning to get a Sony Vaio... :p Damn, there's so many things to buy sia.... :x $$ just keeps flying away... faster and faster...

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Damn...i'm so emotional lately....and I don't even know what is the reasons... :(

I need a hug!!!
I need a kiss and lots of encouragements from you gals!!! :)

Thanks for enduring me these days.... I'm having an awfully crappy mood...

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I realised that the more I am stressed, the more shopping sprees and exercising I go. Bank is nearly to the empty stage. I am poor and happy, but is this an illness? Now I'm totally exhausted in the bank and somemore need to save up for bkk trip.... Money is never enough. Sick and tired of the stresses...and the only way is to shop.... :x

AM I SICK????

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Dearest Joanne, thank you for your delicious dried mangoes... :) MUACK*

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This is the question that I've been asking myself since the first day I ever stepped into Shimano. It's not that I don't like the job here or the environment, but sometimes it's the people that makes the job sucky. At times, I've been labelled "stupid" or "of no use". It's hurting you know, but life still goes on here. I've got my own mouth to feed and also parents who are aging to feed too. Probably, it's not the best but at least I've got a job. But is this really what I want in life? Near the 30 yrs of life without any achievements in my career path? What I do really want to do is to own a small cafe or boutique, meeting people from all the walks of life, talking to them, listening to them and making them feel happy with the food that I cook. A place where people can be themselves and enjoy life. I want a job where I am able to do customer service, probably front line, meeting people, talking to them...etc. For me in a job, interacting with people is very important. My friends have been asking me how come I am still able to stick to a job with minimal pay and nasty person, although the majority of them are nice and friendly and we work as a team.... but that only one, spoils the whole beautiful picture. I think humans tend to think negatively irregardless to the positive things that happen in their lives...

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1 and half hours to go but i really no mood to work sia....

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wah...kena from her again... sian. Do also die, don't do also die...whichever way sia... hahahahahaha...

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Haha...this is the attitude of me when I work recently. It's like they always arrow me. Maybe because I'm easily bullied with that kinda blur face. But I think my blur attitude sometimes pisses some people off. Even though being called "stupid" or "useless" is the common words that she uses, but I think it's ok. She will get what she sows in the future. There's no point arguing what is right and wrong, just do what is right in my eyes. As long as it doesn't go againt my values and conscience, I think it's ok. Even if I do already still "die" in her hands, I am happy, coz I've done the right thing in my perspective. Recently, I'm confused coz what people say don't tally with their actions, therefore it's still better to believe in myself or rather those that I am close to in the office. Thanks gals for all the support and covering of my buttocks when I kena arrowed. Actually I wanna thank "tew bao" for all his help too!! Without their help, I think I am still very blur in my job. I am already trying my best to do what I can, just need more time to pick up what is needed to fill into the shoes of the position. Think if in the future if I happen to be offered a better position, I don't know how to root myself away from those that I am so glued to in the office and leave the office for that job. No matter what I am so happy to have known these wonderful people, who's jokes I am never tired of. Money or environment? These 2 never go together in a job. It's either good money, lousy environment or good environment, lousy pay. Right now, I am telling myself that it's ok to be arrowed at coz I learnt things every single day. Learning things the hard way I guess. I make mistakes but these mistakes are ones that make me learnt things to it's fullest potential. I will not argue or fight back as these are not my concern right now. It's the potential of the next job that I am applying for, just building up my portfolio for the future I guess. I think if I happen to tender, it's those few people that I am close with that I will deeply miss. =)

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I feel so lazy today.... nearly kena arrowed by someone but today she seems to be in a good mood, so I've escaped. If it's during those seasons that she's in a bad mood, then ho seh liao... I'm dead. Nvm...been "dead" lots of times already, I'm like a cat with more than 9 lives.... =P

Today is a day of slapping and biting too...kena bitten and slapped lots of times by those 2 siao char bors. But nevertheless, they are still my best buddies, that's y it's ok for them to bite or slap me. Hahahahahahaa....

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It's friday!!! The thing is...time really flies man....and it's getting nearer and nearer to our bkk trip!!! Its one thing that I constantly look forward to sia...wonder what kinda silly, crazy things we will do there man. Think the whole trip we will be shopping, eating and taking photos like crazy babes on the loose... but definitely will be an enjoyment as I am out with my beloved MCS gals.. those that are my best buddies!!!

And that xiao long bao, pls don't anyhow suffocate ppl with your cho cho bao bao.... no biting ppl or slapping ppl... hahahahahahaha....

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To my delicious xiao long bao, I really miss you these days. No one talking or biting this char siew bao. :P Your Ultimate Ye Zhi Mei Bao also missing you already. KNS, call yourself what "ultimate" ye zhi mei bao!!!! So I shall call myself the "Xiang Xiang" Char Siew Bao coz I put perfume today. *Toot* Sounds nice right? Xiao Long bao, I wanted to draw some cartoons on xiao long bao on the plane with the Da Bao and Char Siew Bao crying below, but I realised that I don't know how to draw a bao. Haha* Shi Bai! But Shi Bai Shi Cheng Gong Zhi Mu (See, my chinese improved big time). I am no longer a jia kang tang one already!!! Now I the Char Siew Bao, must guud lat abit so that when xiao long bao comes back, she no need to vomit blood when she realised that I didn't do anything. Hahahahahaa.... *muacks to my beloved baos* I love you!!!!

*bite* Hehehehe...*evil*

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I was chatting with my best friend yesterday on the phone. She's knows everything about me and been the person that is impacting my life ever since. Even though I've only known her for 3 years, the actual friendship started when I went back to church. She's the person that actually impacted my life since then, the person that helped me walk with God when I found it difficult, the person that challenged my thinking and they way that I perceive things. Initially I was skeptical about going back to her cellgroup because of pride and what had happened in the past, but as I begin to see and commit myself to be part of that life in the cellgroup. Those unreasonable thoughts and fear begin to fade away. I begin learning things and from such a great leader/friend, I begin to walk out of depression, fear and something that I've held dearly for the past 9 years. Having told her that I was in love with someone who told me to wait for him, and I felt stupid waiting for something without an answer. I cried my heart out that day after having told her. There were lots of depressed thoughts, feelings, resentment and hatred towards that person. I often thought that I wasn't good enough that's why he forgotten about what he had said. Many things have indeed happened these few months and I felt that I've changed and matured both spiritually and mentally. Somehow I've grown tired waiting, that's what I told God. I told Him to take those hurtful thoughts away and for me not to love that person anymore. Those feelings, eventually went away and now even if I see that person again, I don't feel my heart towards him anymore. I feel that he is just a good friend of mine and would never be a person that I would choose to be a spouse. Recently, I've heard that he has someone in mind that he likes and would like to consider to go into a relationship with that person. Wow, I feel happy for him. Really, that's from the bottom of my heart. It's difficult initially to move on but with God and good friends around, I've somehow learnt to let go of that past. Now is a brand new life, brand new people that I meet everyday and I am definitely open to new options. =) I feel extremely happy having a relieved heart and that all the burdens somehow fade away. I have learnt how to look at things, disappointments, facing it with a whole new attitude in life.

The fact that I got drunk that day when we were out partying with the whole department was because I couldn't come to terms with my own feelings. I was quite depressed actually because of an unreciprocated love that wasn't meant to be mine, but I was not ready to let go. I've been stupid once and I won't be stupid again. I think I am happy being single now, having not relationship commitments or a heart that is committed one sidedly.

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